A Girl Who Doesn't Know How to Be Loved...

It was pointed out to me today that this may be me... The Girl Who Doesn't Know How to Be Loved. 

So I guess that's me.

Thing is, it is me.

I've been accused of being "independent to a fault" or "fiercely independent". I took that as such a negative. That I was unloveable, didn't need others. That's not really the case. I do need others. I thrive with contact from others.

Maybe today I just understand it a bit more. She's right. That's me. Perhaps she just really gets me. :-)

Dating Profile

So for those of you not in the know and who don't follow SDL, allow me to explain. Yep, that's Single Dad Laughing, and the main man, Dan Pearce. Well, Dan decided to write a WONDERFUL online dating profile for himself and post it today. 

I am inspired. I am even using his format of questions. Go, Dan!

Scared but inspired. 

Well, here it goes. Wish me luck.

This is scary. 

Let's start with me...

B/W makes everything better

Au Natural

Relationship Status: Single, er, divorced? Well, dissolved. Okay, if you haven't read my last post we will just go with single. 


Age: 40. I said it. 4-0. But I don't feel like I am a day over 27. Unless you hear my knees make noise, then you'll think I'm 80. 

Have kids: Yep, and she's mighty cool. 

Want kids: Yep, the one I have. :-) Oh, more kids? Yeah, not so sure about that. I liked saying "one and done" for the last many years. 

Ethnicity: White, er, Caucasian... with some German and some French. But G'pa used to talk about some Native American and Scottish so I'll go with the Heinz 57 mix. That's not too unPC, is it? 

Body Type: Um, skippppp... no, really. I've got some extra pounds but they don't stop me. I'm active. Just this past weekend this body was Dragon Boating. I regularly do 5Ks, especially if it is a cool location or for a cool t-shirt. 

Height: 5'5" or 5'6" in the flip flops. 

Faith: I personally like that "Faith" is followed by "smoke" and "drink" so they can tell just how much of a heathen you are. Faith, well, as long as it isn't too organized I'm good. Spiritual = yes. Religious = not so much. But being raised in New Orleans I still find myself interested in some of the ritual Catholic stuff here and there. 

Smoke: Only when I am on fire. Wait, you've heard that one before have you? Okay, only when at a cool new Greek restaurant and they have the big hookahs to try and crazy stuff like cherry flavored vapor. Once. 

Drink: Yeah, what of it? I say, "I need a drink!!!" far more than I ever do it but if there is a new beer to try count me in. Also, if my step-dad is making a batch of mojitos I'm in as well!

Headline: Just a girl always looking for a fun adventure! Wait, what kind of fun adventure did you think I meant? 

Profile: (AKA All About Me) 

I'm looking for some folks to hang out with and do some of my favorite things. Maybe you can introduce me to a few of your favorite things, too. I mean favorite things as in a beautiful hike, a new restaurant, or a good farmers market. Not your favorite things like your lint collection or your set of Elvis coins. Wait, those Elvis coins could be pretty cool. 

I do love my family life and being a mom but I am surrounded in a world of my straight, married friends that I do love dearly. (Yes, I love you all deeply!!!!) I am out every where I go whether I set off alarms or not. It doesn't define me, but it is who I am. 

I love a good conversation and exploring new things and areas. Weekend road trips were made for me. I love being outside and doing anything that involves nature. Wait - most things that involve nature. Even I have my limits.

I'm originally from New Orleans. That's big. Really big. I get homesick and want to go back at a moments notice. Especially if I catch sight of my FB page and there is a picture of a beignet, snowball, street musician or Mardi Gras trinket. Or if my Mom calls and mentions that she just saw any of the above mentioned items. 

I am opinionated. I now own it. But only opinionated where it matters. Figure that one out for 2 points. 

I ride a motorcycle. Really, I do. I'm cool like that. Or bad. Or just a motorcycle rider. Sometimes. When the weather is nice. And it is daylight. 

I do crazy stuff like this picture sometimes. If you find it embarrassing, step away. If you'd join me you are my kind of person. If you'll laugh, even better. 

Being a Dork

My Interests: Didn't we cover that? Should I keyword myself? Here it goes...

nature, outside, photography, travel, adventure, motorcycles, tattoos, education, art, 5K, kayaking, dragon boating, hiking, festivals, music, food, fun, friends, beach, sun, movies, swimming, food trucks, new restaurants, roller derby

Sports & Exercise: Yep, and I'd love to do more! Want to sign up for a 5K together? Yeah!!  What about Dragon Boating?? Yahoo! Want to kayak and see the manatees? When? Okay!

Pets: Yep. And he is BIG. He's a Greyhound. Did I say big? Think miniature pony. No, that's a Great Dane you are thinking of. I said Greyhound. 

Political Views: I said I was opinionated, right? Well, single term those folks and then clean house. If I don't agree with you I probably won't vote for you. Crazy how that goes. 

Sign: Libra. Yep. I'm always searching for balance. ALWAYS.

Favorite Hot Spots: I live in Florida. Everywhere is a hot spot at this time of year. 

College: Yep, I went. A few times. I check the spot marked graduate degree usually.

Favorite Things: Seriously, like possessions? I like this laptop, my camera, my bracelet... 

For Fun: It just dawned on me who might read this. That's going to be fun, right?!?!?!? 

Last Read: Duh. Dan's dating profile. I  thought we said that way up top!

My Idea of a Great Date: I once upon joked and said to walk around IKEA and see if we pick out some of the same things. I don't think that is a half bad idea. Do you?

What I'm Looking For:  You are educated, honest and interesting. By interesting I don't mean you are a habitual liar (been there), or that you can't hold down a job. You aren't a couch potato or sleep the day away kind of person but an occasional day in is always nice. You have a positive attitude and a good head on your shoulders. You are taller than 5'6" (see my height comment). You have your life together but are just missing that one extra piece, or two. You must be able to handle sarcasm. Seriously. You must. 

***not looking for couples or to be a third of any kind. Thanks!*** (Crazy how you have to say that, right?!?!?!)

-------------------------------------What do you think???------------------------------------------------

Well, I'm divorced. Er, dissolved?!?!

I guess that's the big news. I'm divorced. Or dissolved? Since it was a Civil Union they call it a dissolution but that just sounds even odder than saying divorced.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about you can view my original post about this subject.

And I guess it really all happened about a month ago. Remember that paper I got saying it was filed? Well, filed meant completely done as well.

I had been calling to check on the status and finally got someone today. All done.

Wow!

No extra papers requested? No serving the other party? No questions from the judge regarding custody since that wasn't allowed with this filing? Nope.

Someone finally had the sense just to understand it and go on. Yay for the battle but it is a strange feeling.

A friend also told me today I'm officially her first divorced friend. Ugh. Never thought that would be me.

In fact, what do you do with news like this? Even the ex asked if I was going to celebrate.

Celebrate what? A relationship that ended 6 years ago? A failed marriage? Hardly seems appropriate.

I guess what this makes me is more single than I already was. That's about it.

Update: It's filed.

Yep, that's about it. It's filed. I received a notice this week, as did K, that the case is filed. Like officially filed and given a case number. Now we wait to see what else they need, want and have questions about.

On a separate note: Relationships suck. So hard and so much work at this point in life. Confusing, too. End rant.

None the less, I'm still a hopeless romantic.

Why Mardi Gras is so important to me...

For the last 5 years I have taken my almost 12 year-old daughter to Mardi Gras back home in New Orleans. Each and every year I get people who look at me strange or question me on taking her home for that event and I get asked each time about flashing boobs for beads.

It's hard to explain Mardi Gras to those who have never been and experienced the annual event. Mardi Gras is such a New Orleans tradition and holiday that the schools actually close for 3 days for the event. And Mardi Gras is a season, just as is Thanksgiving and Christmas. Parades and events start roughly a month before Mardi Gras day, which is today. King Cakes are eaten and many people decorate their Christmas trees for Mardi Gras.

But why is it so important for me? Why do I take my daughter out of school for this?

Here's why:

1. Family.  This trip my daughter got to peel crawfish with her 86 year-old great grandmother. My Grandmother (affectionately called either G'ma or GG'ma by grandkids and great-grandkids) french braided Cady's hair. My G'ma tells stories too about my mom when she was little or stories about me. She tells us about our family history and little bits of our history. We get a glimpse into the way things were for her and learn a little more about where we come from.

We also got to spend time with my Aunt and Uncle, my daughter's Great Aunt and Great Uncle. That's something a lot of kids don't do. They bond over card games, puzzles, Dr. Who and other board games. It's meaningful to both of us.

2. Friends. I have dear friends back home that I went to elementary and high school with. We have developed a great friendship and my daughter is developing her friendship with their children. I have another friend that we thought we knew each other from elementary school but it turns out we didn't know each other then. Doesn't matter. She's still one of my closest friends and it's a good story to tell. Plus we see my Mom's friends from college and her kids that I grew up with. It's a connectedness I haven't seen elsewhere.

3. Culture. It's like no other. My kid is somewhat versed in jazz music now and knows more about Louis Armstrong than other kids her age. She knows Tuba Skinny and respects street musicians. She knows those marching bands put a lot of work into what they do and she knows music doesn't end in high school. She knows who George Rodrigue is and all about Blue Dog. She understands Katrina and what it did to the city. She knows about the markings on the houses. This time we even visited the Katrina memorial. She knows why graves are above ground and why you can only walk certain paths in the cemetery. She's been through the sculpture garden and she loved it.

4. Food. Seriously, we make a trip just to get food and spices at the grocery store there that you can't get anywhere else. She knows that étouffée is better when it is red, not brown. She knows how to peel crawfish, suck the heads, peel shrimp and loves remoulade sauce. She craves a frozen cafe au lait from Cafe du Monde, but also knows that the beignets are different at Morning Call and loves them as well. She knows when we go we have to get a shrimp poboy and that they do not all taste the same. This time we tried crawfish beignets and oh my, we LOVED them.

5. Parades. Folks, there is no finer free entertainment than a parade. Where else can you see beautiful artwork roll past you, have a good laugh and fun time with some of the great groups that walk by (i.e. Rolling Elvi, 610 Stompers, Pussyfooters and more), catch your souvenirs for free and listen to great music? We come home with a great collection of stories, pictures and loot. Great cups, doubloons to add to our collection, and decorated shoes, purses and glasses to display as prized artwork in our home. Plus, these Krewes have a long and interesting history and each parade is different from the next.

Need more reasons...

In 5 days we went to 12 parades and one of those we saw twice.

My daughter got to climb on a float to see it firsthand thanks to some friends.

She fought for doubloons and picked up the trinkets and necklaces she wanted to come home with.

She learns to stand up for herself and handle a crowd.

She learns how to be nice to others around her and learns that everyone else may not be as nice.

She learns about what is okay to do and what isn't. There is always a lesson in there about seeing someone doing the wrong thing as with any large crowd.

She learns how to talk to strangers, including the adult musician who was speaking to her about not giving up on music and recommending many different avenues and camps to explore.

She learns that sometimes giving away that trinket or bead to someone smaller than her feels better than keeping it for herself.

She knows how to ride a streetcar and the etiquette on board.

She knows Mardi Gras. She knows New Orleans.

(Please note: I'm absolutely exhausted and this entry is probably overrun with spelling errors and grammatical mistakes. Just forgive them and move on. I need sleep.)

This really just happened...

A friend posted this on FB and I was automatically interested when I saw the image, especially since I'm teaching about those sit-in's that were at that very counter. But when I read the article - WOAH!!! Are you kidding?!?!?!

And yes, I fact checked and you can find plenty more articles covering this proposed Bill in Kansas.

http://dish.andrewsullivan.com/2014/02/14/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-kansas/

Filed.

So it's the day after Valentine's Day. I've filed for the dissolution. We'll see what Vermont says.